Well perhaps I won't actually start drooling. And I'm unlikely to start barking either. And honestly bells don't do a lot for me. But the concept is the same.
I've been trying to list and recognize some of my triggers - of a sexual nature primarily - lately. Ironically on the same day I was set to write a little about it someone brought up the same idea from a different direction. He didn't mean to, and I'm sure he didn't know I was thinking about it before or during our conversation, nevertheless it's an example of something that happens to me all the time. I will have a thought, or begin to start forming a thought, randomly. There will be no impetus for it I'll just start thinking about it. Then a day or two later I will run across thousands of conversations, articles, or simple comments that would have made great catalysts for that particular thought - after I've already started chewing on it. The same comes from new words I'll come across once and will have to research, or words I've known but never used and by a fluke decided to use once - suddenly after I've used them others use them too. I often thought that this pattern may just be because now I am more inclined to notice things that would link my inner world with my outer world - but through a lot of trial and error I've found it's not the case. Just a freaky coincidence.
Anyway, back to the salivating dogs...
I'm sure I could find triggers in my mind of a none sexual nature - like whenever the temperature rises above 80 degrees I feel the need to become tragically vegetarian, or the way I immediately chirp out a "meep meep" whenever I see a Mini Cooper or Miata driving down the road, regardless if I have an audience or not (don't ask, it's a thing) - but honestly sex is more fun to think about.
Especially when you're a raging mess of hormones - teenage style and your choosen monogamous partner is "really tired and kinda sore" and has a headache too.
Prior to the last month I had two strong sexual triggers. Strong meaning the very hint of it and I could be slammed with arousal so hard my knees shook and I needed to sit down and will my heart to slow down. It was kinda fun. Now I have discovered a third trigger, not a strong, but boy does it do the trick.
Trigger #1: Depeche Mode
I know what you're thinking "She worked all the way up to the list and then she makes a stupid joke." I assure you gentle readers (who probably consists only of me two months from now - Hey future me, your hair is getting really long.) that I am not making a joke. Except for that last one. Depeche Mode is in fact a trigger. And maybe the strongest one I have.
My first orgasm was me snuggled up the covers of my bed in my parents house. I couldn't tell you how old I was, 16-17, I was a late bloomer. But it happened alone, by myself, in stifling, self-induced heat and to the soft sounds of Depeche Modes Violator. My rickety old stereo was right next to my bed on the same level as my mattress propped up on top of the small speakers. One on the front right corner the other on the back left. Thus I had a small area of open space where I could lie on my bed and hide my head in, a self made surround sound speaker system that made me feel like I had disappeared into a black hole and allowed me to listen to music to any hour of the night without getting the requisite "turn that radio off" from my parents down the hall. They couldn't hear the music outside my door and I couldn't hear the rest of the world. (I know you say, why no headphones? Because my mother didn't allow us to wear them for fear we'd blast the volume and damage our hearing - obviously her plan worked....) I spent many a late night secretly listening to Dr. Demento and old re-runs of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Okay...I was a dork. And true to dorky nature I holed away one night, under heavy covers and sleeping bags, put my tape in and got swept away in the oh so sensuous voice of David Gahan. I've heard girls describe their first orgasm in a lot of flowerly hyperbole. "Like a flood" "Like finding God" "The earth shook" Yeah it wasn't like that. It was nice, I felt happy, but it wasn't all that...great. However, the songs I was listening to swept me away. His voice is dark and lilting and extremely erotic. It turned me on far more than any idea of sex and the songs, one song in particular, caressed me more softly, tenderly and expertly than my hands could. Long after my heart stopped pounding and my breathing was normal I heard the lyrics in my head.
And I still do. "Words like violence Break the silence Come crashing in Into my little world Painful to me Pierce right through me Can't you understand Oh my little girl" Back then I felt like he was sing directly to me. Now I dream that someone is singing that directly to me. It's a good song. And every time I hear it I can feel myself get hot. Physically, emotionally, sexually. I don't drool, but I get wet. It makes me want, not so much to have sex, but to feel sexy. It's not the sort of trigger that will turn me into a raving sex-mad slut - but if I'm in the right place and Depeche Mode is play, especially "Enjoy the Silence" I will start squirming and writhing until I can get under the "covers" and cum.
I think the fact that that song is so linked to my sexuality can explain a lot of the wants and desires I'm discovering now. But that's for another entry.
Trigger #2 The smell of sex
As a disclaimer I have only been with one man - and I married him so I'm unlikely to be with another man for as long as I live. So my experience and observations are somewhat limited and only linked to my husband.
Again the loss of my "virginity" wasn't all that amazing. I can't really pinpoint when it actually happened. It was after a few months of my husband-then-boyfriend trying to convince me to "put out" and me fighting it off because I hadn't yet decided if I wanted to continue to wait till marriage. It's a hazy, alcohol-clouded (my first experience with alcohol too) blur of awkward fumbling and a lot of insecure fear. He wasn't awkward - I was. Again I've heard the stories of all the wonderful first times...I don't really remember that. I couldn't cum, it hurt a lot, I bled, he held me too tight and pushed to hard, everything in my body cramped up and he seemed rather annoyed that he had to wear a condom. I ended up feeling sad, hurt and really guilty that he didn't seem to be that happy that I finally "gave in." But we snuggled a little and then we fell asleep. I'm sure there are tons of people who can tell me exactly what was wrong with that night...I don't care. It's how it happened.
But there is one part of the ordeal that really did turn me on. The smell of my husband after sex and consequently the smell of me. I'd never noticed a smell from myself after I'd cum before, but after sex as we held each other I could smell sweat and cum and just sex. I guess it could be pheremones or musk, or I don't know. It's a sweet, tangy, sticky kind of smell. I love it. I can't get enough of it. After the first time I had sex I finally felt ready for it. Ironically, this came a little too late, but still I got aroused. Different from the way the music gets me, more of a warming in my belly, my skin will flush and everything gets hard when I smell it. This trigger does turn me into a raving sex-mad slut. And it happens every time we have sex. I don't care how many orgasms either of us has had, how tired and worn out and bruised we are...I crave more when I smell it. Of course I think the smell is linked directly to his orgasm and his cum...so there is little to be done no matter how out of sorts I am. But still...if they could create this EXACT smell all those Men Body Spray commercials with the women going nuts would come to life. At least for me.
The nice thing about it coming after sex though is it doesn't seem to wash off completely. It'll stay with me at least a full day. And that day is an awful lot of fun. I'm always more confident, more self-assured. I like my body and I tend to dress to show it off afterwards. I am literally a cat in heat and I do prowl and hunt. By the end of the day I am so worked up that a repeat performance is necessary.
Unfortunately these effects only come in to play if I don't sleep after sex. Ah well.
Trigger #3 The Wall
This is my newest one and I'm not entirely sure if it's a trigger or just a nice fantasy that really does it for me now. As I've said I have a crush on a totally unattainable man currently. He's a little older than me (ten years) and far more experience. Also very inventive and imaginative and he shares the same kind of kink that I like. We've had a few conversations about sex and our preferences, the kind of conversations that make me lick my lips repeatedly and usually end with me under the covers again with my mp3 player playing Violator. With him I can be a real slut. In the safety of conversation though, of course.
In any case once upon one of our hot conversation I came across the knowledge that his favorite sexual position involved the wall. A big, flat wall with the girl pushed up against it, pinned and draped over him.
Wow. His description wasn't much different from that. But it has invaded my mind ever since. My husband and I could never try that. He's short, I'm short, I have a short torso, he has short legs. It just wouldn't work that way. But with a different man, someone bigger than me, taller, someone more forceful - the kind of guy that "pins". It's an intriguing thought. More than intriguing, I think about it all the time. With him, with faceless lovers, people from my past, I don't care I've tried it a hundred ways since he mentioned it. I've tried it in all ways too and with all sorts of extra fantasies interlinked with it. It's going to become a favorite of mine. Again I feel I need to point out that I can't subscribe to the idea that simply lusting in ones thoughts is being adulterous. I can't wrap my mind around the idea that something that comes and goes so freely and naturally is a sin. I'm not going to go out and seduce the first tall man I see, or even the hundredth tall man, I may think about it - fantasy only. However, just as it's a truth that no matter where I roam I always end up at home with my guy, no matter where I fantasize I always come back to my husband. It's the same circle in the real world as it is in my head.
Still and all...that's pretty damn sexy. And with my thoughts so ready to take me there to that day when we just can't stand it and we push ourselves against a wall to brace against this all consuming passion...any wall will do it. My eyes are drawn to big blank walls, in out of the way spaces, in the middle of public. I stare at them, I wonder, I can imagine two bodies pressed up against it. I wonder what the texture of the wall would feel like against my back. I think about my ass scraping against it, my head banging on it. Just touching stucco gives me electric shivers now. The same with our sturdy cubicle walls covered in cloth at work. Staring at a good wall will make me salivate, bells be damned. When I look at them I want something. I want to be taken, I want release, I want SEX.
I swear these things work every time. They may seem mundane but in my world...the little things are never boring.
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