Beer Belly

Last night DuClaws released IV for one night only. IV is a very very very good Maibock. Unfortunately, IV is a very very very good Maibock.

One of the few social things my husband and I do together is go to beer releases at DuClaws. A guy who works with Craig is the DuClaw customer king and always knows when the next big thing is. He knows the brewmasters personally, he can tell when a beer was made with a different malt, basically he's the shepherd and we're the beer-drinking flock. Last night he led his sheep to partake in frosty-bocky nectar.

And we did. Boy did we ever. I drank quite a bit. Not only was IV excellent DuClaws also has my second favorite beer. My first being the Raspberry Wheat found only at McGuire's in northern Florida. My second is a tie between DuClaws' Naked Fish (A Raspberry Chocolate Stout) and DuClaw's Bare Ass Blonde (Obviously a blonde). They are tied because Naked Fish is a temporary beer that you can only get for one month out of the year. Bare Ass Blonde you can get all the time. Especially yesterday when I had three of them on top of my three IV's.

Normally one beer knocks me flat. I'm basically a lightweight and I have no problem with that. But when you're surrounded by sailors and uber-geeks and lots of very very good beer - one isn't gonna work. I got really plastered.

And it wasn't just peer-pressure from my group. Across from us were two little girls. (When I say little I mean they were young.) One was a brunette who was about half my size. I'm fairly trim so she was freaking skinny. Her friend was a blonde who was chubbier than me. They were sitting at a table ordering round after round of hard drinks. Well girly hard drinks. Amaretto Sours, Cosmos, who knows what else. Our waiter (the very cute 18 year old Andrew who I brazenly flirted and oogled throughout the night - mmmmm - candy) was friends with the girls and kept us informed of what number round they were on. 9 by the end of the night. And no food.

And no water till the very end.

It wouldn't have been such a contest if my husband hadn't decided to say "I don't like her, she's too skinny." Of course that's a little true, but husband likes more curves less straight lines, but still you don't say that to your girl...especially if she already has two beers under her belt.

That's where they remain too. Under my belt. I feel like I'm two sizes larger than normal. My pants are falling off my hips...yet I still feel fat. I once knew a girl who drank like there was no tomorrow. She was about as tiny as you can imagine, but she threw them back. I asked her how she managed to drink so much and not get the horrible-girl-beer-belly. She said it's because she never drank beer. Only hard liquor, whiskey and vodka and the like. I'm not sure if I believe that. But the girl last night was ultra-bean-pole and she only had non-beer drinks.

But it's so much sugar. Sugar and alcohol are the stuff lying-on-the-bathroom-floor-puking-your-guts-out dreams are made of. Bet she doesn't look so hot when that pretty straight bob is cover in...

I'm being vindictive. I'm a size seven and because of that I hate all size six's and below. It's a girl thing.

Regardless, it's a hazy tiring day for me. Made all the more daunting by the fact that is it Cinco de Mayo. And guess what we have planned for Cinco de Mayo...that's right. DuClaws. They're having a deal where you buy a beer and a glass and refills are $2. I'll probably throw back a few more Blondes and then my requisite margarita and that'll be it. But even that might be too much. Nothing seems to help my current-it's-been-16-hours-but-I-still-feel-drunk state. I've had a bagel, some fries, three cups of tea, two cups of orange juice and a lot of water. Nada. All I want to do is curl up under my cubicle and sleep.

Instead I do market reports.

And probably put up more posts...because I'm feeling journally.