A wife's laundry list of complaints

(ALERT: Uninteresting whining to follow)

MEMO
TO: Earth's inhabitants

The earth's axis has moved. It now resides straight down the center of my living room...very near the area where my husband is.
Please be advised that the earth now revolves around him. All plans involving gravity, the seasons, weather, tides or what you're going to have for breakfast will need to be revised in order to fit with this new phenomena.

Thank you.

My husband hurt his legs. He actually hurt them a few years ago and just recently went to see a doctor for them. I'd just like to point out that I told him to see a doctor a few years ago when the pain first started, told him often, even used my nag voice, but he refused until just a few months ago.

Unfortunately they can't do anything for him anymore. Nothing. Not a damn thing. Not physical therapy (not that he goes mind you), not surgery, no medications. All we can do is take it easy and pray. My husband is doing the first part. I'm doing the second.

I'm praying he gets better soon because he's driving me insane! According to the doctors "taking it easy" means he needs to do his leg exercises (with this freaky looking green rubber thing) everyday, go to physical therapy at least once a week and make sure he walks a lot to keep up his strength. No running, just easy walking.

According to my husband "taking it easy" means not raking the lawn, not performing any of his designated chores, not performing any of my designated chores instead, yelling obnoxiously for me to fetch him things either upstairs or downstairs (where ever he may be), attending autocrosses where he spends hours running ON CEMENT, and in general being a big baby.

And he is a mean big baby too. I can't win. He's either lecturing me or yelling at me. And when I bellow back...I'm suddenly the selfish insensitive wife.

Things came to a head this morning when I found myself stuck with exactly nine minutes to shower, change, iron the clothes, and do my hair and makeup. I found myself with this time limit because my husband, who was supposed to dutifully get up at 5am to do his exercises (which he didn't) and then take a shower and go to work, decided to spend an hour puttering on the computer. Thus, after I finally threw his butt in the shower and got him dressed I had nine minutes...exactly...to get myself ready. I wasted 30 seconds of my nine minutes to let my husband know he was a "selfish, lazy, oaf"

Then he wasted 120 more seconds of my nine minutes letting me know what a wench I was.

It was a bad way to start the day. It came at the end of a bad weekend. In general, I am disenchanted with the married life.

It's not so much that he's hurt and needs more help. I'm happy to do for him whatever needs done. What bothers me is the way he is milking it to get out of doing things that need to be done, and therefore having more time to do the extraneous things.

I know I'm not making much sense, this is pretty much just a laundry list of complaints...but I can't help it. I'm angry, I'm angry at him and I'm angry that I'm angry. I'm annoyed at him, I'm annoyed at myself. I'm even angry at things that happen YEARS ago.

I'm also upset that after a weeks worth of belly aching over how he can't put together furniture or help me clean up the lawn and the house, he invited a bunch of people over for a party Saturday.

Party Saturday, my parents come to visit the Saturday after that, then we all go to a family thing the Saturday after that, followed closely by the end of the month - D-Day in terms of my husbands employment, and the last weekend to pack for his big three week trip away from home.

It would be overwhelming doing all this with him at 100%...it's just plain stressful now that I'm the only one doing anything at all.

My husband gets the axis, but the I have the whole world on top of me.