Link to Die By

I don't believe I am part of the "blogosphere" (other than - you know - owning a blog). There are only three blogs I ever had the guts to comment too, and only just a little bit. I tried on a fourth...but had trouble so I just told him via IM. No bloggy friends here. Which is fine. But I am fascinated with them. And most recently fascinated with the whole blogger language. Which I suppose is chatter language...but I rarely come across that anymore. I think I may intimidate random chatters because I insist on spelling out the words "you", "are" and "four"/"for".

Still I am drawn to blogs such as the ones I've listed below like a bug is drawn to the zapper. It is engulfing me. I cannot tell what these people are talking about, which makes me believe it is very important and I must design the next "Enigma" to decode it therefore unlocking the hidden secrets of the "blog people" and saving the world from certain doom (and possible death by banana). It is my quest, it is my destiny.

Take a look:
Blog 1
Blog 2
Blog 3
Blog 4
Blog 5

I'm not picking on anyone who writes these. I just want to know what they say. What are they trying to say? What are they telling me? Why can't I get this babble out of my brain? What is it you children of yoda know that we masses must learn? Speak..speak...preferably in whole sentences with the use of conjunctions...speak!

My friend wrote about what he titled the "SMS" Culture (which I'm sure is the proper title, but how would I know?) in his blog a while back...which I'm going to steal then ask permission later (because 1. He's brilliant so of course I want people to read it and 2. At the time of my back blogging from this weekend he is not available for permission purposes and 3. I can take it off later if I want and 4. What are you gonna do about it? Huh punk? *wink wink*). I like this because I have absolutely no idea what this conversation is saying...but I think the SMS culture person (Labelled Person 1) is rather clever...I can't actually tell if he's clever, but I think he is. And it ends with a good comeback, if it is a comeback, if it was an insult. See, I don't know what this is about and I'm still enamored. Person 1 has me so hooked I'd have his lovechild...really...it's like he's speaking Italian or French or some other Romantic language, except it's nothing like it and I have no urge to swoon in joyful lust.

Also notice Person 2 (the none SMS culture person) is clever too...and brilliant...and funny. And if he's a he then I could be convinced to have his lovechild too. Maybe.

Person 1: wot u bi doin xcept singin u cnt do it 24/7
Person 2: Well, I sleep, eat, and work, too.
Person 1: u sure?
Person 2: I'm pretty sure that I sleep, eat, and work, yes.
Person 1: oh ok thn
Person 1: wot bwt drink?
Person 2: "Eat" generally refers to the imbibation of foodstuffs required to make the body function. Drink, being a foodstuff that is required to make the body function, is therefore capable of falling under the "eating" category.
Person 1: shut up wiv ur knowledge of crap
Person 1: makes u snd well posh there
Person 2: Nah, it's because I utilise the whole keyboard, and don't use it as if I were sending an SMS. Or if I were an AOL user.
Person 1: #qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm,./['=-098765432x
Person 1: all letas utilsed
Person 2 :...Your grammar sucks.

You can read the whole brilliant piece here Under "Ahh, Supportive Friends".