I am lying on the couch, alone. Abandoned to the stomach flu by a husband who still finds the thought of food and ale alluring. The cat braved my company for only slightly longer.
I'm lonely and grouchy and feeling melodramatic. Here I lie rotting away from the inside out and my loving husband decided it was more important to get a pint with the boys. I fantasize about dying from starvation - then I realize I haven't washed my hair and my corpse wouldn't be as pretty as I'd like, skinny, but the curls wouldn't be right. So I fantasize about drinking a whole glass of orange juice instead.
I nap through some cop show and part of the news. My dream are part dancing oranges and part Shepard Smith. With bad make-up. Somehow I wind up watching Interview with the Vampire.
Somewhere between Claudia dying and a commercial for Netscape I hear a deep voice announce.
"And now return to Brad Pitt..."
Yes, I think, because Brad Pitt waits for me.
"...in Interview with the Vampire." The deep voice finishes.
Crap, my husband is drinking beer, and Brad Pitt is drinking blood.
And my glass of orange juice is still full.
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4 comments:
I sound just like your husband. And, you sound just like The Missus.
Hope you're feeling better.
Eww. Warm orange juice. Icky. Go for the blood. *Laugh*
Hope you get better soon.
I feel compelled to say that it was me who told my husband and roommate to go.
I did it, I said it. It was me. But since I'm a woman I can secretly be grumpy at him for doing it.
Dawn, you have to be the pickiest blog-eater ever! *LOL*
Blood is gross when it's cold though. Worse than warm orange juice.
"Dawn, you have to be the pickiest blog-eater ever! *LOL*"
HA! Didn't even think of the cold strawberries! But cold juice doesn't bother me- but the thought of warm ORANGE juice? Ick. Apple, grape, grapefruit- warm or cold or left on the counter over night- fine with me. But not OJ! Eww, Yuck!
I am so pathetic, huh?
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