Shocker

"So they're all trying to be sexy for this guy with the camera, but they're drunk so they're not doing a good job. So they start showing off 'the shocker' and they are so not doing it right."

Being a naturally quiet and shy person I often find myself sitting in the middle of conversations that have a story-like quality to them. Occasionally I get something out of it. As my current storyteller went on about instructing girls on the proper "shocker" technique, and the importance of the thumb, I cocked my head.

"You look confused." A helpful musician chimes in.

"Yes" I say "I've never heard of "the shocker".

Apparently, I am very funny. Everyone has a good laugh.

"No, really. I have no idea what it is."

Being naturally quiet and shy I often find myself in situations where people think I am innocent and sweet. Unfortunately, innocent is a barrier when surrounded by men who all know what "the shocker" is, but do not want to tell me. Or, as one protested, did not know how to tell me.

They tell me to ask my husband.

Now I have to know.

Eventually, after a long stream of cryptic jokes, mostly at my expense, some at the expense of the apparently all important thumb, one rogue felt brave enough to educate me. But we had to hide behind a set of pumpkins to do it.

"So...you get that this has to do with...er...some...er...form of physical...er...exercise. Of the, you know, the sexual nature."

"Okay." I try to look knowing and experienced.

"So, here are two fingers...you know where these go right?"

I blink for a moment. I realize that people may think I'm rather sweet and innocent, because I am. Already I'm a little shy. But I play it off.

"Yes, I can guess where those go."

"And you can figure out where this goes...right?" He says, showing his pinky with the two fingers and helpfully twisting his hand into a position just so.

"Yes, I can figure that out." And I can, but my mind is having trouble bending around it. On either side of my head is a pumpkin, the rogue is whispering conspiratorially, and the rest of the men have gathered around, all scrutinizing my face as I think. I speak before I think.

"So, in that case, what is the thumb for..." I pause, the rogue has extended his thumb and helpfully re twisted his hand for me.

"Ooooooh!" I got it.

"Don't worry." The helpful musician says "Your face only turned four shades of red."

Really...I'm shocked.