God

I know where it started. I was thirteen, alone, on a Sunday morning. I tied my white tennis shoes at the top of our stairs outside and looked around. Nothing but sun - warm, sky - cool and green. Green for miles. Maalaea Bay to the south, Kahului Harbor to the north. Behind me Haleakala crowned in white clouds around it's majestic summit. In front the West Maui Mountains - Mauna Kahalawai - and it's lush valleys, cool rainforests and the towering Iao Needle. That needle covered in green, soft and inviting. Unattainable and intimidating.

All around me was beauty, perfection, life and the living. Maui pulled it from the sea with his hook, Pele built it to the sky with her fire, Kane made the forests and Lono fed it with the wind and the rain - his peace and prosperity.

And inside I felt it. I felt the green seep into my bones. For the first time in my thirteen years of life I felt happy. Alive. Surrounded and inundated with joy. I felt the beauty of being me, of being a woman alive in the world. I felt the miracle of the beat of my heart and the feel of my skin. Warm sun against my body, cooled by the gentle wind. I could taste the growing things.

That heady smell of flowers that hits you hard. Invades your senses and fills your chest. The prickle in your skin when you can feel the grass grow up, stretching towards the sun. Hear the birds talk, the tree rustle.

Feel the very earth spinning beneath you.

That was God.

I've been chasing it ever since.